FANTASTIC FOUR, a contemporary re-imagining of Marvel's original and longest-running superhero team, centers on four young outsiders who teleport to an alternate and. UPDATE: You can now find our top 25 must-see movies of 2016 right here. There's an awful lot to look forward to over the coming 12 months, from Hollywood and beyond.
Here is an alphabetical listing of all the movies (so far) that have been certified as among the 366 weirdest ever made, along with links to films reviewed in capsule. Country Channel Name; Italia: IT: Rai 1 HD: Italia: IT: Rai 2 HD: Italia: IT: Rai 3 HD: Italia: IT: Rai 4 HD: Italia: IT: Rai 5 HD: Italia: IT: Italia Uno HD: Italia.
As you can probably guess, last week’s episode of Game of Thrones—and its increasing dominance over the pop culture landscape—has filled the ol’ postman’s stolen mailbag to the brim. There are a few spoilers for last week’s episode, but more importantly, an answer to a question we should have been asking ourselves since the first episode: Should we want Daenerys and Jon Snow to fuck? Aunt, Man. Aaron W.: So I’ve been struggling with this question a lot: Is it ok to .
So the aunt/nephew dynamic is an absolute deal breaker to modern audiences, but maybe wouldn’t be the worst thing in Westeros? Lots of reasons it would be good, but one BIG reason it is unacceptable. Thoughts? Shipping is. I’ve seen worse than aunt and nephew. And the show is definitely presenting them as future romantic partners/fuckbuddies, which makes it as legitimate as these things get. Their familial relationship may freak you out, but that’s sort of the point. GRRM wants to show a medieval, feudal- type era with all the awfulness most fantasies skip over.
The relentless sexism, the rape and torture, the horror that regular people could and did experience constantly as the result of what the nobility chose to do—you can absolutely complain about how omnipresent it is in his stories and/or how it’s portrayed, but it’s not inaccurate to the source material of that reality. And one part of that reality is medieval (and certainly ancient) nobility’s tendency toward incest, especially between uncles and nieces—to the point where its got its own name, avunculate marriage.
As you said, the books/show have already shown that Targaryens have been more than willing to marry within the family in order to keep their bloodline pure, so there’s a precedent for Jon and Dany starting a relationship. And since we’re talking about an aunt and nephew here (since Jon is the son of Dany’s deceased brother Rhaegar) and not uncle/niece, a Jon/Dany hook- up would.
I am far more skeptical that Jon would be cool with sleeping with his aunt, given the rest of Westeros isn’t nearly as cool with incest (hence Cersei and Jaime’s hiding of their sexual relationship—well, until Cersei took the throne and decided that yes, in fact, as queen she gets to have sex with anyone she wants, and everyone else has to deal with it. Or be tortured and killed). But Jon’s problem is easily solved by keeping his parentage from him until after Ice and Fire have fucked each other. In fact, I suspect Bran is keeping/will keep the truth of Jon’s parentage from everyone until after Daenerys gets pregnant for that very reason. The Three- Eyed Raven knows this has to happen, so mum’s the word for now Or GRRM—or the show, for that matter, since we know it’s diverging from GRRM’s plan in major ways—could just throw a curveball and have Dany marry Gendry, the closest thing King Robert had to a legitimate heir, combining the Targaryen and Baratheon lines to create a progeny whose claim to the throne is unassailable throughout Westeros. Actually, that’s a pretty good idea! He’s way at the bottom .
No way Bronn can hold his breath long enough to get down there, cut all the straps to all the pieces of the armor, pull them off, and then also pull him to safety before they both drown. I’m not going to say it’s unrealistic, since Jaime was pushed into the water to avoid a dragon, but the point of Game of Thrones is that it has fantasy elements but it’s still realistic in the basic laws of physics.
So isn’t Jaime getting rescued impossible? You bring up a good point about fantasy, in that the best fantasy has a set of rules, even if the audience doesn’t know them, and doesn’t break them. Someone suddenly having a “hoist person out of lake” spell to save Jaime would be dumb. Tyrion running down the hell and begging Dany to have Drogon fish the dude who was about to kill her out of the lake is more realistic for Go.
T, but implausible in terms of Dany’s character and the time it would take for Tyrion to get down to Dany and ask for her to save his brother. So that leaves Bronn.
Here’s one thing we all need to make our peace with first, right now: Game of Thrones the TV show has begun playing fast and loose with strict reality in favor of presenting the most exciting story possible. This is how armies and fleets are moving gargantuan distances in- between and sometimes even during episodes. It’s why Tyrion can pick out Jaime from half a mile away amid a battlefield full of smoke and destruction.
It’s why Cersei and her allies can suddenly kick ass or all of Highgarden’s gold can get into King’s Landing with a mutter and a handwave. There are only nine episodes left, total, as of the time this mailbag hits the nerdernet. Buy Circus Kane (2017) Hq, Dvd, Divx, Ipod,.
The show doesn’t have any time to waste. Yes, part of the reason the books are so good is because they were sprawling and complicated in the way life is, and yes, the show is 1. I also, as I mentioned in my recap this week, think it doesn’t make any narrative sense for Bronn to push Jaime out of the way of a giant cone of dragon breath into a lake, only to have him immediately drown—if Weiss and Benioff are going to kill the character, having Jaime get turned into cinders by Drogon is a much, much cooler death. So I think the show will forgo realism (I mean, how was that lake at the side of that road a full 3. Bronn will cut Jaime out of his armor and drag him to the surface (because Jaime is the one who’s going to give him a castle, after all), and the Lannister will probably live to fight another day. And I also think he’ll be the one to perform those (book spoilers) valonqar duties, and obviously, he can’t do that if he’s dead.
Last time I looked, I didn’t see any friendly priests of R’hllor nearby. Where to even begin? Ser Barristan would have been the most solid member of Daenerys’ Queensguard due to military and combat experience, but his relationship to Rhaegar is most interesting.
When Dany tells Jon that everyone loves doing what they’re best at, Jon disagrees. Ser Barristan once told Dany a similar story about her brother Rhaegar preferring singing in the street to killing. I also imagine Ser Barristan recognizing the late prince’s resemblance in Jon’s face, posture, or personality.
Although Jon is very much Ned Stark in code and hair color, there would be a few opportunities for the show to make that connection. Are there any dead characters that would’ve enhanced the current story we have without breaking the series? Barristan had to die because he had too many answers.
He knew Rhaegar well, and he likely knew what Rhaegar was doing when he kidnapped Lyanna, or at the very least he knew whether Lyanna was kidnapped or went with him willingly. Even though we know the result of their union was Jon Snow, the reason why Rhaegar kidnapped her, thus starting a chain of events that killed most of his family and ended their dynasty, is such an integral mystery that it’s going to need to be saved until the very end of the series. Barristan may well have had those answers. The show could get away with not acknowledging this for a bit, while he hadn’t been in Daenerys’ service for long and wasn’t completely trusted. When Dany realized that Barristan knew her family pretty intimately, and was beginning to ask questions about them—well, that’s when he had to go. Barristan literally died in the same episode he began to tell stories Rhaegar (“Sons of the Harpy,” episode five).
So yes, Barristan would added a great deal to the proceedings, but would have added too much, too soon. My pick would be either Oberyn or Doran Martell, if only so one of them could make the Dorne storyline worth a damn. It would be cool so see Dorne have a major role to play in the great war other than serving as Cersei fodder. If a good Dorne storyline is off the table, I have to go Stannis, actually.
Seeing him somehow bend the knee to Jon Snow and becoming part of the fight against the White Walkers would be really satisfying on a lot of levels, I think. But those are just mine—add and explain yours in the comments.
The List Thus Far . T (1. 95. 3) – A mad doctor enslaves 5.
Dr. Seuss. Adaptation. Sorrow and his gang of gay fascist cowboys. Doggiewogiez! Poochiewoochiez! Thompson’s cult novel about two burnouts taking insane quantities of drugs in the City of Sin.
Fellini Satyricon (1. Bizarre androgynous costuming and mythological leaps of logic gird a great director’s decadent extravaganza. Female Trouble (1.
Juvenile delinquent Dawn Davenport (Divine) proves that “crime is beauty” on her way to the electric chair. Final Flesh (2. 00. Four separate porn- troupes- for- hire enact an absurdist prank script about the apocalypse. The Forbidden Room (2.
Guy Maddin’s collection of reimagined lost films, with tales curled inside each other like Russian nesting dolls. Forbidden Zone (1. Frenchie is lost in the 6th Dimension and her family and friends must save her from the king and queen in this surreal musical that often looks like a Fleischer Brothers cartoon. Funky Forest: The First Contact (2. Selection of surreal, interwoven sketches from three Japanese directors is uneven, as you would expect, but contains some of the weirdest sequences you’re likely to come across.
Glen or Glenda (1. Ed Wood’s pro- transvestite documentary, with Bela Lugosi as an omniscient one- man Greek chorus and a dream sequence featuring bondage.
Goke, Body Snatcher from Hell (1. Survivors of an airline crash squabble among each other while psychedelic space vampires pick them off. Gothic (1. 98. 6) – Hallucinatory excess from Ken Russell, about the night Mary Shelley conceived “Frankenstein”Gozu (2. Erotically charged, hallucinatory Takashi Miike horror/yakuza mashup. La Grande Bouffe (1. Four successful men lock themselves inside a chateau and eat themselves to death. Greaser’s Palace (1.
A zoot- suited Jesus visits a Western town to enact a series of absurd parables. The Greasy Strangler (2. Lard- loving Big Ronnie (who doubles as the Greasy Strangler) and his son live together and conduct scam walking tours, until a “disco cutie” comes between them. Gummo (1. 99. 7) – Indisputably weird but ceaselessly unpleasant portrait of hopeless white trash. H! The Globolinks ! Die Globolinks. Oscar” drives around Paris taking on “assignments” that require him to become a hit man, accordionist, and a fashion- model abducting leprechaun.
The Holy Mountain (1. An extravagant, psychedelic tour of world mysticism has a guru lead a Christ- figure and companions on a quest to storm the Holy Mountain. The Horrors of Spider Island ?
Nobody (2. 00. 9) – The last mortal man in the world remembers dozens of parallel reality variations of his life. Mulholland Drive (2.
Radical identity shifts and surrealistic nightclub acts ignite this dreamlike noir fable about love, guilt and Hollywood. My Winnipeg (2. 00. In Guy Maddin’s Winnipeg, sleepwalkers roam the streets at night, horses freeze in the river, and mother is everywhere.
Naked Lunch (1. 99. David Cronenberg’s adaptation of the unadaptable William S.
Burroughs novel features film’s scariest typewriters. Natural Born Killers (1. A pair of serial killers become celebrities as they slay their way across a hallucinogenic America. Night of the Hunter (1. A homicidal Preacher with “LOVE” and “HATE” tattooed on his hands hunts children carrying treasure in this Southern Gothic Expressionist fable.
Night Train to Terror (1. God and Satan watch badly edited horror films on a train while a New Wave band practices one compartment down. Ninja Champion (1. Rose seeks revenge against her diamond- smuggling rapist, while in another movie clumsily pasted on to that one, an Interpol ninja assassinates evil ninjas while they practice circus tricks. The Ninth Configuration (1.
A psychiatrist argues for the existence of God in an experimental military mental hospital, but is he as crazy as his patients? Nosferatu (1. 92. F. W. Murnau’s unauthorized Expressionist adaptation of “Dracula” is a melange of sex and disease. No Smoking (2. 00. Quit smoking, the Bollywood way, in one of India’s few intentionally weird films. Nostalghia (1. 98.
Andrei Tarkovsky’s slow, beautiful, dreamlike spiritual parable about a homesick Russian poet in Italy. Nothing but Trouble (1. Dan Akroyd’s grotesque Hollywood misfire about a weird old “reeve” ruling from a junkyard in a backwoods New Jersey “shire”Nuit Noire ! Dick novel. Schizopolis (1. Fletcher Munson struggles to write a speech for a Scientology- like leader while his doppelg. Turner. Taxidermia (2. A penis ejaculating fire is the take- home image from this surreal and twisted Hungarian generational epic; barf bags recommended.
Tekkonkinkreet (2. Orphans White and Black scrape out an existence on the surreal streets of Treasure Town. The Telephone Book (1. A nymphomaniac falls in love with the world’s greatest obscene phone caller in this arty underground sexploitationer that climaxes with a surreally obscene animation. Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1. A man inexplicably transforms into metal, set to an industrial soundtrack in grainy 1.
Thundercrack! Lao (1. A shapeshifting “Chinaman fakir” brings his allegorical circus to a Western town.
Pinocchio (1. 99. A cybernetic male sex- slave is cast adrift in a weird world in this underground Japanese cyberpunk film. The Abominable Dr.
Phibes (1. 97. 1) – Art- deco b- movie has fascinating production design and campy acting from star Vincent Price, but is it weird enough? The Acid House (1. A trio of tawdry, disturbing fantasies penned by Irvine (“Trainspotting”) Welsh.
The Adventures of Mark Twain (1. Claymation selection of Twain stories, with a wraparound story about the author flying a homemade blimp to catch Haley’s comet. Aegri Somnia (2. 00. The sick dreams of a disturbed man. Alice in Wonderland (1.
This “star- studded” (W. C. Fields, Gary Cooper, Cary Grant) version of Lewis Carrol flopped on release—could it be because it was too weird for 1. Am. Ballard anthology. The Attic Expeditions (2. Mindbending psychological horror that loses its mind, mixing occultism, medical experimentation and general weirdness into a confusing B- movie blend. Bad Girls Go to Hell (1. A housewife descends into a dreamlike sexual hell in this roughie with lots of random shots of feet and furniture.
The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2. Nic Cage unloosed, iguanas, and an ambiguous ending give this crazy thriller some weird cred. La Belle Captive (1. A man seeks a mysterious woman who may be a ghost, a vampiress or a dream in this film that visually references the paintings of Rene Magritte. Blind Woman’s Curse (1. A feminist yakuza ghost story.
Blue Sunshine (1. People who took a particular brand of LSD in the Sixties find themselves transformed into bald killers ten years later. Borgman (2. 01. 3) – A criminal insinuates himself into a Dutch family’s home. The Bothersome Man (2. A freethinker seeks escape from a bland paradise. Brain Damage (1. 98. The Aylmer attaches himself to Brian’s brainstem, feeding him an addictive drug in return for grisly murders.
The Brain That Wouldn’t Die (1. A mad scientist searches for a hot new body for the recently decapitated fianc. Seldom- seen abstract stop- motion animation from Francecollective: unconscious – Experimental anthology wherein six underground directors film each others’ dreams“The Comb” (1.
Quay Brothers animation about a man trying to reach a sleeping woman in her dream. Come and See (1. 98. Unremittingly bleak Soviet WWII film with dreamlike passages. The Company of Wolves (1. Impressionistic retelling of Little Red Riding Hood as the werewolf sex dream of an adolescent girl.
The Congress (2. 01. An aging actress (Robin Wright, playing a version of herself) allows her image to be digitized for virtual reality use in the future in this partly animated mindbender. Cube (1. 99. 7) – Seven strangers awake to find themselves imprisoned in a cubical maze filled with deadly traps. The Cult of the Damned . Frankenstein (1. 97. A cauliflower- faced Frankenstein’s monster squares off against Dracula with an afro in a very bad (but weird) movie. Dr. Caligari (1. 98.